We don’t need another (Yorkshire) Hero…

29 May

I’ve got plenty of plans to post more blogs about the pull of Disney, Marvel, DC Comics and their marketing prowess. About the guilty crimes that they should all atone for when it comes to failing to effectively combat gender stereotyping (especially that Disney crew…) but just for today – let’s have a bit of non-political, family induced fun:

Boy (aged 7), converses with sister (aged 10) and their father

BOY: Dad. Why don’t none of our superheroes come from Huddersfield?

DAD: Hmm. I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it. They’re all American aren’t they?

BOY: Yeh. And it’s not fair. I’m not American!

DAD: Well, that’s one thing to be thankful for in life, I suppose.

GIRL: That’s racist, that is.

BOY: But I really want a superpower. One of my own.

DAD: Well, it’s interesting that America does have this obsession with being a superpower and even their cart0on characters needing to have a superpower. There’s sociologists and political historians who’d have some good views on why that …

BOY: (interrupting.) Well. I’ve got one anyway. I’ve just decided. I’ve got my own superpower.

DAD: Oh. What is it?

BOY: (holds hands in front of his face) I’ve got the amazing ability to SEE THROUGH MY HANDS!

DAD: Right.

A hand. With special superpowers.

A hand. With special superpowers.

BOY: I can see right through them. Like an X-rayed divisioning-machine!

GIRL: Yeah, right.

BOY: Just put my powers to the test!

GIRL: Okay. Dad. Get something that he has to see – through his ‘magic hands’.

DAD: (passes her a LEGO figure.) Right mister. Keep your hands there. What is it that your sister’s holding up?

BOY: (opens his fingers slightly.) It’s ahhhh. It’s a  storm-trooper LEGO man!

GIRL: (disgusted.) He cheated! He totally cheated! That’s pathetic!

DAD: (trying to avert disaster and a case of sibling pummelling) Well, you know. Everyone has different kinds of superpowers. Perhaps he just needs to work on his. A bit.

GIRL: Hey, it’s  true actually – that. I’ve got a superpower of my own.

DAD:Yeah?

GIRL: Yes it’s called… (punches the air) DYSLEXIA!

DAD: Ah. Your Mum’s been encouraging you to look on the bright side again.

GIRL: Yes. And it’s brilliant – it’s a dead good power to have.

DAD: Right. So what’s so great about it?

GIRL: Oh – it gets me off the hook with so many things in life!

DAD: I’m not sure that this is the correct attitude to have…

BOY: So anyway.What’s your superpower, Dad?

DAD: Mine? Ah. Mine is… Infinite Calm and Patience.

GIRL: That’s nearly as stupid as pretending that you can see through your hands. And anyway. I’ve never seen you use it.

DAD: Oh believe me, I’m using it right now. In order to get through this entire conversation. I need to go and lie down for an hour now in order to recharge my Calm and Patient batteries.

GIRL: I thought that ‘Infinity’ meant ‘endless’? Are you trying to get away from us?

On Superhero Day at school, the lad wanted to be 'Stupendous Man' (from Calvin & Hobbes) and the girl wanted to be Malala Yousafzai. Original, at any rate...

On Superhero Day at school, the lad wanted to be ‘Stupendous Man’ (from Calvin & Hobbes) and the girl wanted to be Malala Yousafzai. Original…

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4 Responses to “We don’t need another (Yorkshire) Hero…”

  1. juliathorley May 31, 2015 at 1:41 pm #

    Great stuff. Have you seen the stuff on t’internet recently about the latest Disney malarkey ‘aloha’? Set in Hawaii: all-white cast.

    • funnylass June 1, 2015 at 9:55 am #

      Thanks – and Lordy no. I didn’t realise there was a Disney link with ‘Aloha’? Either way, Aloha is making ‘South Pacific’ sound utterly progressive (I rather like SP – it’s nice to have a heroine be confronted with her own racial prejudices and still emerge a heroine.)

      But I did also stumble across this and am horrified! Not just because Disney’s 1st African Princess is ‘white’ – but because someone couldn’t bear to say ‘no’ to their 6 yr old when she wanted to BE a Princess. The world has gone to hell in a handcart, my friends!

      http://www.salon.com/2015/05/28/why_disneys_first_african_princess_is_the_spirit_animal_for_global_white_supremacy/

  2. Lisbe May 29, 2015 at 5:09 pm #

    Tell him Thor is not American! Nor Black Widow! Nor Yoda…. And get away from Disney to Studio Ghibli which has plenty of smart capable girls. Start with My neighbour, Totoro.

    • funnylass May 29, 2015 at 5:19 pm #

      ha – don’t worry – I did! And we know the others too (well the girl does – thanks to a smart pal like you! The boy tends to ignore anything that’s a bit deep- heh heh)
      Never mind the REAL Little Mermaid…

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