Don’t Be A Bird Brain

16 Oct

Followers will know that I like to blog about all kinds of stuff, but that I can become the gobbiest when it comes to the issue of ‘outsiders’. Yes, I get all crabby about those who are on the fringes of society (because of lack of income or birth right or connections) but I also get my knickers in a twist in relation to the way that people who are deemed to be a bit ‘different’, ‘quirky,’ ‘eccentric’ or who seem to be singing from a completely different song-sheet from the rest of us ‘normals,’ are treated.

Elvis falls into one of these categories.  Not only is his name un-cool (because most families don’t listen to Elvis obsessively as we do) but he also happens to be a budgie. And after Father Christmas delivered him to us last year I have lost count of the number of times people have exclaimed “Ha-ha! You have a budgie! Aren’t they a little old ladies’ pet? How bizarre!”

He was a loving little companion. Until he shat on my copy holder.

He was a loving little companion. Until he shat on my copy holder.

So even though our Elvis is one un-cool dude – he has clearly has a feathery little soul of his own. So he gets treated like royalty (better than royalty actually, if Prince Harry trucked up to our house – I certainly wouldn’t be cleaning his turds up with a wadge of Kleenex). During the daytime if the house is empty, Radio 4 is switched on so that he doesn’t get too lonely (he is a huge fan of Women’s Hour and has a bit of a thing for Jenni Murray). And if I’m working from home he accompanies me to the office (he’s sitting on the printer right now chirruping away – and yeah, it’s yours truly who has to leave the room if the phone rings. Not all professional callers are as understanding of a budgie’s need to squawk along to The Archers as you’d hope that they might be.)

Yesterday, I was in the middle of reading an excellent guide  for employers on how to create an autie-friendly workplace when my daughter (who was trying – and failing –  to train Elvis to sing a Beatles song) interrupted me with “Hey Mum, why do we use ‘Bird Brain’ as an insult? ‘Cause Elvis – and all birds – are way cleverer than my brother…” and this reminded me of a fantastic book that I recently read.

‘King Crow’ by Michael Stewart had me all fired up. Indeed, chuffed to bits. Because the action takes place in a very foreign, an oh-so exotic and distant place. Far-flung shores which are all too often overlooked by the UK south-eastern dominated publishers. Yeah folks, this venture into alien territory involves all of us suspending those LondonCentric belief systems and assimilating a superb tale that centres on a general geographical area known as ‘the North of England.’  And then focuses further on an even smaller microscopic part of the landscape which happens to possess a very un-Kensington and Chelsea place name. That of ‘Salford.’ Or pronounced ‘Sol-fud.’ (In case you somehow thought that it should be uttered as ‘SORL-FORRD’)

So yeah, thank God for people like Michael Stewart who are proud of their roots and who enjoy writing for the literati – as well as for plebs like me n’ mine. Folk who get all giddy because we used to wander through those exact same tower blocks which he touches upon.  People who know precisely what the terraced houses he mentions still look like (or indeed,  taste like … I used to have a thing for licking red brick work when I was a nipper. But let’s not go there.)

And my interest in reading this book was piqued further when I realised that the story is told through the eyes of a school boy who is autistic. Although the ‘A’ word is never used. It doesn’t need to be. Michael S  simply shows that his protagonist Paul Cooper, operates on a different plane to most others. And that Paul’s obsessive traits are focussed on birds (and unlike most teenage boys, this kid’s fixation is with on the ornithological – the feathery, rather than the female form.)

Who's The Daddy?

Who’s The Daddy?

Now, you might already be familiar with the ‘Rainman’/ Dustin Hoffman version of what being autistic might entail – but ‘King Crow’ is a beautiful reminder of how autism can take both stark and subtle shapes within a personality. And it also nudges the reader into realising that obsessions – which might at first hold no interest for the reader whatsoever, when so cleverly woven into a story with such a fascinating character – can leave your fingers itching to find out more via Google. Or cause you to fall into petulant arguments with your six year old as to whether “it IS a sodding Crow in the back garden. Or a raven.  Or…let’s get the damned field book out, eh our kid?”

I don’t normally blether on about books that you MUST read – but if you tend to care about the sort of things that I get all het-up about, then this is a book for you. And I won’t say anymore about it for fear of spoiling the storyline…

And for those of you who have already read this book and who have enjoyed other stuff delivered by Mr Stewart. you will be pleased to hear that his next book will be launced in the new year. (Although sadly, the guy cannot guarantee any budgie cameos.)

But hey.  Back to the report that I mentioned earlier*. And an excellent quote from it. Courtesy of a fella named Stephen Shore. Who offers some very sage advice.  Which I reckon, should be applied not only to autism but to many other hidden impairments. And to the overall issue of ‘intelligence’ itself.

“If you’ve met one person with autism. You have met one person with autism.” (Stephen Shore.)


Never mind your bloody bird-brain! Sherlock's latest cerebral rival...

Never mind your bloody bird-brain! Going pipe to claw.  Sherlock’s latest cerebral rival… (and never mind my northern bias – check out Museum of London’s ace new exhib on our Sherlock and his incredible legacy)


* ‘Making Employment a Positive Experience for People in Calderdale’ By Matthew Lowe – for Calderdale Council and National Autistic Society




13 Responses to “Don’t Be A Bird Brain”

  1. Sharon Alison Butt October 20, 2014 at 1:10 pm #

    That’s funny, but what’s even more funny is that you said you’d never heard of the story. You see, one of the main laughs of the story is that Mortimer insists on living in a BREAD BIN! Look it up – there’s actually a whole book about him and the bread bin. It must be your gift of fiction writing that lead you to this accurate conclusion. And as for weird… i’m actually worse. I licked a frozen gate to copy a girl who ended up needing the assistance of firemen 😊

    • funnylass October 23, 2014 at 8:22 am #

      I will check that one out! & yes…you qualify for Well-Weird! (A Mancunian term, I believe!) … Did your tongue not get stuck?

      • Sharon Alison Butt October 23, 2014 at 8:37 am #

        No. I think the speed at which my mum’s hand came down and across my head, left no time for any tongue-fusing.

        • funnylass October 23, 2014 at 1:11 pm #

          bet you never done it since… 😉

  2. TraffordDream October 20, 2014 at 11:45 am #

    I used to lick wallpaper myself Chris, so I can see where you are coming from!

  3. Sharon Alison Butt October 16, 2014 at 4:31 pm #

    You can count me in. I’m definately interested in reading it as I adored, ‘The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Nighttime. I’m sure you must have read it? He’s Aspergic and I fell in love with him from the start.

    Sarah and I think Elvis is cute and his antics remind me of Mortimer the Raven – have you read any of those books to the kids? They’ll love it! Xx

    • funnylass October 16, 2014 at 5:36 pm #

      Did you see the stage version? I haven’t met anyone who has seen it …
      I do not know of Mortimer the Raven at all… I have for a wee google…

      • Sharon Alison Butt October 18, 2014 at 9:28 pm #

        Well, there was a real house trained raven called Mortimer who was doing antics on YouTube but the video owner deleted it after I sent a message saying how adorable he was. She must have thought my passions were too strong and feared a midnight disappearance of her beloved bird, pilfered by me.

        Ive not seen the stage version of the Curious Incident story, but i spotted an advert on my sisters tv last week. It looked odd. The actor playing the boy would have to be amazing. “Who killed Wellington?!” I couldn’t do it.

        • funnylass October 20, 2014 at 11:23 am #

          You stalked a raven! And the owner has probably got him hid in a bread bin now or something for fear that this crazy Yorkshirewoman is checking their house out…

      • Sharon Alison Butt October 18, 2014 at 9:31 pm #

        I’m still laughing at the bit about Elvis using your copy folder as a litter tray, him being a fan of the Archers and you having a penchant for the taste of red brick. 😀😀😀😀

        • funnylass October 20, 2014 at 11:23 am #

          You mean… you never licked any brickwork yourself, Sharon?
          You’re weird.

  4. wthirskgaskill October 16, 2014 at 4:17 pm #

    Reblogged this on iamhyperlexic and commented:
    This is a lively review of ‘King Crow’ by Michael Stewart. It is encouraging to see something like this quite a long time after the work was published.

    • funnylass October 16, 2014 at 5:33 pm #

      Thanks again William! Let’s hope Michael doesn’t sue me for sticking a budgie on the front cover of his book…

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